Change The Way You See Love

When people are on the topic of love, certain scenarios pop into our heads.

Meeting the one, date nights, romantic walks, and growing old together with that special someone. In short, most of Nicolas Sparks' books turned into movies. (If you ask me, the best ones are the ones who haven't been adapted into movies yet).

Kidding aside, I realized that modern society, social media and the norms demand that we be in a romantic kind of love.

On television, you will see barely-legal teenagers declare their love for each other, giving promise rings (where did they even get the money to afford that?), going on romantic trips, and promising to spend the rest of their lives together. People don't even question if this should be their priority when instead, they should be focused on studying. "Nakakakilig kasi, so shut up na lang".

On social media, you will see millions of pictures, quotes and articles with hashtags #relationshipgoals. People do not wonder about what goes behind those perfectly-curated instagram profiles, the hours spent on thinking up the perfect caption and getting the angles right to get that magazine-worthy, candid look.

On reunions with your families, you are often asked the question, "So, when will you get married?", "Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend yet?". Like, I'm only 24 years old folks, I can't even afford to buy a car yet, let alone get married.

On dinners with friends, people ask you, "Kamusta love life?".

And for those who have been single for so long that we don't even know how to be in a relationship anymore, we answer dejectedly, "Wala eh, matumal". Like it's a sin to be single.

Don't get me wrong, romantic love is not something I'm against with. The pressure of getting into a relationship though, that's another thing. For me, romantic love is overrated. Lucky are those who have found true love. Because romantic love is only romantic if people work on it. It does not happen miraculously like in the movies; people strive, prepare and think about doing the romantic stuff for their loved ones to make them happy. And that's the kind of love I appreciate. Love is hard work. But it wouldn't feel like work if it's for the one we love.

Being single for more than two years now has taught me a lot about myself. It taught me to change the way I see love. Even though I went on a few dates, nothing has really lasted. But that's OK, because that's not what defines me. I've learned to enjoy my own company, go on sentimental walks alone, read books overnight, getting that much needed workout and right after, devour a meal (or two, or three) like a beast. I laugh at my own jokes (why not, I think I'm hilarious), praise myself for a job well done at work, treat myself to a shopping spree, and plan my solo travels.

I've learned that love could be found everywhere. And what's sad about it is that, these types of love, are often neglected and taken for granted.

Love for our family. Friends. God. We all take it for granted. The way I see it, people do not exert much effort to grow and nurture this kind of love because deep down, we feel that these people will always be there for us.

No matter what we do, our families will be there for us. 

No matter what we say, our friends will be there for us.  

No matter who we are, God will always be there for us. 

(My goodness, that sounded like a backstreet boys song, sorry, just wanted to lighten things up a bit).

In short, we can afford to take them for granted. Which is why we only see romantic love as worth working for. Because we are so afraid to be alone in a world that demands us not to be. A world that says being single means there's something wrong with you because you have nobody to call your "bae". A world wherein a romantic relationship not documented on facebook means you're not on good terms. A world where single means lonely.

This is what I'd like to be changed in modern society. Let us love everyone. Maybe you've forgotten to thank your dad for driving you to work on a rainy monday morning, or your mom for doing your laundry even though you said you would do it yourself, your brothers/sisters for helping you carry your bags and getting a massage from them when you've had a tough day, for your friends who are always there to cheer you up, teach you all kinds of things like they're your personal guru and be your dates for the night, and for God, who will always be there no matter how many times you've failed Him. Maybe you've forgotten to thank yourself, for being strong and not letting others disrespect you or take you for granted.

Let's revel in the beauty that we see all around us. We are lucky that in our generation, we have the means to document our experiences and share it to the world. We are able to capture precious moments and freeze it in time. The quality of the pictures that we take have always continued to impress everyone over the years. From analog cameras, where we used to develop our photos in a dark room, to high-tech phone cameras that can save and publish your photos with a press of a button. One of the new technologies that have emerged is a dual-lens phone camera, the Huawei P9. This phone was co-engineered with Leica. It produces high quality photos and allows users to take amazing monochrome, slo-mo, colored, light painting photos among others. Paving the way for more innovators to change the way we see everything. What a time to be alive.

So I encourage everyone, let us change the way we see love and life. We only have one life. Let's stop chasing the future, looking for the perfect love and just live in the moment. We don't have to be caged in expectations set by people who don't matter. Love is not black and white. Love is not just two people in love.

Love, like air, is everywhere. - Paige Jason (Gonna quote myself on that one if it hasn't been registered for copyright yet).